"Trust in God," they say.
But what does that mean, exactly?
Many would say that it takes a lot of courage -- and perhaps even some level of audacity -- to trust in and believe in something you cannot see.
In a sense, this is very true.
We certainly can't trust that life will always be butterflies and rainbows, even with the Good News of salvation, because it's just not like that. Bad stuff happens all the time. We encounter death, tragedy, heartbreak, and all sorts of "mysteries of human perversity." (I encountered that lovely idiom in Characters of the Inquisition by William Thomas Walsh, and let me tell you, it's probably my favorite phrase of all time. Example sentence: "Out of some absurd mystery of human perversity, Steven Moffatt began writing screenplays.")
We know that in the Bible, Jesus said to his disciples:
"Do not worry about your life...Look at the birds of the sky, they do not sow nor reap, yet your Heavenly Father feeds them...Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself." (Matthew 6)
I found this quite troubling. "What difference does it make to trust in God?" I thought to myself, "He's just going to do what He wants with our lives, anyway, because He's God...right?"
Being the lovely little ray of sunshine that I am, I took this a step further:
Our life is what it is. We can't really do anything about it; sure, eating Cheetos and watching How I Met Your Mother on your parents' couch every day until you're forty won't get you very far, so what you do with your Free Will affects your life somehow. But we all know that life just is what it is. What's the point in trying or trusting or hoping if it just.. is what it's going to be?
Then, after really thinking about all the losses I've encountered, all the possible losses I could encounter, and all of the "mysteries of human perversity" that await, I went rather hysterical.
You're born, you live, you make friends, you face rejection, people leave you, people take advantage of you, people die, you die, you're done. Wonderful.
As I said, I'm quite the little ray of sunshine.
After pondering this gravely depressing idea for a few days, I woke up this morning with a Holy Spirit moment of enlightenment of sorts. (Thank you, Confirmation!) I remembered this quote from How I Met Your Mother. (No, wait, just see where I'm going with this.)
“The great moments of your life won’t necessarily be the things you do, they’ll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I’m not saying you can’t take action to affect the outcome of your life; you have to take action, and you will. But never forget that on any day you can step out your front door and your whole life can change forever.
You see, the universe [God] has a plan, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It’s a scary thought, but it’s also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine, slowly working, making sure you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, exactly when you’re supposed to be there.
The right place, at the right time.”
- Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother
Much more hopeful, now, isn't it?
Puzzlingly enough, I realized, that all of God's "giving and taking away" (as mentioned by Job in 1:21) precisely why we should trust in Him. Though trust or mistrust on our part may not make a difference in what happens, it makes a world of difference in how we take it.
When things we love are ripped mercilessly from our arms we cry out: "My God, why have you abandoned me?" Just as Jesus did on the Cross. (Matthew 27:46) But perhaps that's what is so wonderful and beautiful about our suffering.
The despair, the anguish, the feeling of emptiness is what Christ, our own God, endured as he trekked up the hill of Calvary. The guards whipped him and he fell to the ground, bloody and weak and broken; just as the Devil whips us with hardships and temptation and we fall to the ground, bloody and weak and broken. Christ got up and he staggered on, embodying faithfulness in all of his pain. Then should we, who walk in the shadow of his Cross
God gives us good things, and though Job said: "He gives and He takes away," perhaps it should be clarified, "God gives and does not punish us in this world with sorrow, but guides us through as we struggle with the 'mysteries of human perversity' as Satan whips us and takes away the things we love, while God allows our faith to be tested but never leaves our side." ... But that might've been a bit of a mouthful for the book of Job.
Trusting in God may not affect our lives directly, but it affects our outlook; and isn't it our outlook that affects our lives in the end?
"Completely drained of strength,
I lie, collapsed upon the cobblestones.
My body cannot move.
No blows, no kicks can rouse it up.
And yet my will is mine.
And so is yours.
Know this, my other self,
your body may be broken,
but no force on earth and none in hell
can take away your will.
Your will is yours."
-- Enzler, Clarance. (from the perspective of Jesus) Everyone's Way of the Cross. Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press, 2006. Nihil Obstat, Impramatur.
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