Have you ever gone to a big city? You're walking with your friend, and they exclaim: "Whoa, look at THAT!" And they point toward the sky above you. Craning your neck, you look up...and up...and up... After what seems like forever, you catch sight of the top of the building. The skyscraper looms there, its highest stories barely visible, appearing smaller and smaller, blurred by the reflected sunlight. You squint in attempt to see what's above, but it is impossible to perceive the roof of the building with clarity.
Or when you're driving on the freeway and reach an open stretch. You look into the distance, hoping to catch sight of mountains or trees or an oasis of any sort; it is a vast, open expanse. Of course, you know that somewhere, out there, in the distance, there is something. Just beyond the horizon dwells the incomprehensible.
Well. That's what the process of choosing a college feels like. (Dramatic analogies? Perhaps.)
Hundreds, thousands of possible ways that you can further your education. Also, hundreds of thousands of potential dollars that will be earned and spent for the sake of your future. Even if you've narrowed down your options to four or five possibilities, it's extremely difficult to make the decision. If you're me, reason carries you to a fork in the road. At that point, weighing the options is futile; if it's a tie, you choose a path, and you see where you end up ...
Around sophomore year, I took a look at my life: most of my friends were from church, I was homeschooled, and I had a rough time convincing myself that those were good things.
I longed for college! "I can prove to all the people around me that I can do what everyone else is doing."
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| From a conversation with my friend Nikki. |
This mentality stuck. As I explored one of the public universities in my state at the beginning of the year, I was thoroughly excited by the fact that I could go, be normal, have a good chance at scholarships, be normal, live a few hours' drive from my family, be normal, major in business and, for once in my life, be normal.
Heck yeah, I wanna fit in! Heck yeah, I wanna be normal! Let's do this!
There was a Church there, too. I mean, of course I would go to church! What's the point in going to a Catholic college if you can still go to church at a public university? "It's time for me to be a part of the world," I asserted, "I learned Faith in high school to prepare me for this."
Thus, I intended on following the ironic advice of High School Musical and intended to stick to the status quo.
Oh, how I pledged to myself, that:
Oh, oh oh oh,
I shall stick to the stuff I know.
And I shall not mess with the quo,
No;
NO!
I shall stick
With the status quo.
And that was that.
(No it wasn't.)
Oh.
Oh...
The beautiful churches, the deep material, the theology, the student body, the personal, comfortable campus
SmaLL CLAssEs
cATHOLIC PeOPLE
TRUTH
But no. OH no no.
Rule one of the status quo: Thou shalt do what everyone else does!
Plus, as I've heard time and time again: college will challenge your faith. These next few years will be the hardest time for growth in your Faith you will ever face.
I mean, if that's the norm...if that's a part of every Catholic's life...it's cheating if I have it "easy," right? It's cheating if I don't venture out of my comfort zone. Isn't it?
Perhaps choosing a small, Catholic college IS out of my comfort zone. The fact that it is contrary to what would traditionally be done is uncomfortable. It does scare me.
It used to scare me to the point that I wouldn't even CONSIDER the college which is now tied for my top choice.
This college is a charming little school in the mountains in California. They offer one degree in Liberal Arts, providing a well-rounded education. Unlike any school I have ever seen, they are small, tight-knit, traditional, and professional. I told myself that never, never ever in a million years would I go to this school. Okay, I'll consider applying, but I won't go there. I would be submitting to everything I'm trying to avoid!
...Well, I guess I'll consider it.
.....Well, I guess I'm serious enough to go to their summer program.
.......Well, I guess their summer program helped me discover the meaning of life, made me feel at peace, led me to meet wonderful people, and invigorated me with the sample of literature discussion.
And now, Thomas Aquinas College is tied for my first-choice school.I still have my doubts and apprehensions, but frankly, life is about risks. Why risk my Faith when I can risk my place on the Status Quo Totem Pole?
Of course, I'm thinking my decision through more to discover what is truly best for me, but my mind and heart have opened so much to the possibility of attending what originally seemed like an unwise choice that clashed horrendously with my desires for the future. As I reason and pray my way through this process, I am finding that this choice is actually wise, that challenging the ideals of society sounds invigorating, and that ultimately, admitting that I am a Catholic nerd who just wants to hide away in the hills and read books with my friends for a few years is actually way more empowering than I thought it would be.
Essentially, my whole point here is admit to the good desires of your heart, because God put them there for a reason. If everyone did what they truly wanted to do, instead of what society wanted them to do, the world would be better off.
If your biggest desire is to go to a university to become a doctor or a lawyer, by all means, follow your dreams, promote health and justice! But if you want to start your own business out of high school, consider religious life, work as a missionary in an underprivileged country, spend all your time making artwork and selling it at craft fairs, audition for broadway, become a mathematician, or just get married and raise a family, do it.
If you want what you want for the sake of God, pursue it.
If you want it because it will help you to grow in virtue, pursue it.
If you desire it to help mankind, do it.
Just because society says, "go to college, get a degree, work a 9-5, pay off your debt, buy a fancy car, work to pay off the fancy car, work so hard you never get to enjoy your fancy car," doesn't mean you have to.
It's invigorating to take the risk and do what you love. You don't always have to aim for the top; aim for where you want to be. Aim for what will better your soul, and happiness will follow. There's no greater risk than #YOLOing for God.
Brothers and sisters:
Have no anxiety at all, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
make your requests known to God.
Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters,
whatever is true, whatever is honorable,
whatever is just, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious,
if there is any excellence
and if there is anything worthy of praise,
think about these things.
Keep on doing what you have learned and received
and heard and seen in me.
Then the God of peace will be with you.
((Philippians 4:6-9))
I mean, did Jesus stick to the status quo?
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